Social Security Pays Only the Higher Benefit for Divorced Spouses. Most Americans Get This Wrong

She is 64, divorced after a marriage that lasted well over a decade, and never remarried. For years she had been doing the mental math on retirement the same way: her own Social Security check, plus something off her ex-husband’s record, would land in her account each month. When she finally called in to ask whether she had to pick one or could collect both, the answer caught her off guard. Social Security pays only the higher of the two.

This exact question came up on Suze Orman’s Women & Money podcast from 2023, and the rule hasn’t budged. A caller walked through a similar assumption before being told the rule works differently than she expected. It is one of the most common misconceptions of the Social Security system, and it tends to surface right around the age when claiming decisions stop being theoretical.

The Rule That Subtly Reshapes Her Plan

Here is what the Social Security Administration (SSA) actually does for a divorced spouse. If she was married at least 10 years, is currently unmarried, and both she and her ex are at least 62, she may be eligible for a divorced-spouse benefit worth up to 50% of her ex-husband’s primary insurance amount (PIA), which is the benefit he would receive at his full retirement age (FRA). If they have been divorced at least two years, he does not even need to have filed yet.

The catch is in how the check is calculated. Social Security compares the two benefits and pays whichever is larger. If her ex’s benefit is higher than hers, the formula gives her her own benefit plus the difference between her own and 50% of his, so the total equals the higher of the two figures.

Imagine her own benefit at FRA would be about $1,600 a month, and half of her ex-husband’s benefit works out to roughly $1,900. She does not collect $3,500. She collects $1,900, the larger of the two figures. If her own benefit were already higher than half of his, the spousal piece would simply not apply, and she would just collect her own.

That single rule can swing her expected monthly income by hundreds of dollars. For someone who built a budget around the stacked version, the correction is the difference between a comfortable retirement and a tight one.

Living Ex or Deceased Ex?

There is one distinction worth keeping straight, because conflating them causes real planning mistakes. The higher-of-the-two rule applies while her ex-husband is alive. If he dies, she may qualify for a divorced survivor benefit instead, and those rules vary. A survivor benefit can be claimed at one age and her own retirement benefit at another, which gives her a sequencing option that does not exist with a living ex. The living-ex rule is a choice between two doors. The survivor rule lets her walk through one, then later switch.

How This Lands in the Rest of Her Retirement

At 64, she is still inside the window where claiming early permanently lowers her monthly check. Filing before her FRA cuts the benefit by roughly 25% to 30% for the rest of her life, and that decrease applies to whichever benefit is higher, her own or the divorced-spouse amount. Waiting closer to full retirement age preserves the larger number, and the 2.8% cost-of-living adjustment (COLA) for 2026 then compounds on the bigger base every year going forward.

If she has a 401(k) or IRA, the timing question gets more interesting. Pulling from retirement accounts in the years before she claims can let the Social Security benefit grow, while keeping her taxable income low enough to avoid pushing more of her eventual benefit into the taxable column once it starts.

What She Should Actually Sit With

Two takeaways are worth holding onto. First, before assuming any amount, she should request benefit estimates for both her own record and the divorced-spouse calculation off her ex’s record, then compare. The larger figure is what she will actually live on. Second, claiming age matters more than most people expect, because the reduction or increase locks in for life and then rides every future COLA.

Rules have edges and exceptions, and a quick conversation with the Social Security office or a fee-only planner can confirm which version of the math fits her own record.