A fantasy football obsessive’s guide to the stock market
The NFL season is mere weeks away, which means fantasy football leagues are revving back up for action.
In group chats across America, managers are haggling over draft availability, and the smack talk has commenced. The most dedicated players are poring over stats and spreadsheets, looking for deep value and trying to build the most statistically efficient team.
Of course, Wall Street has its own version of fantasy football season, just without the humiliating league punishments. Investors are constantly trying to identify the sleepers, avoid the busts, and figure out which stocks are merely riding a teammate’s coattails.
With that in mind, here’s a fantasy-football-themed look at the market’s current roster, matching classic archetypes with specific parts of the stock market:
The touchdown vulture
The archetype — Have you ever had a running back scamper all the way down the field, only to be subbed out at the one-yard line, ceding the touchdown to their backup? Well, then you’ve been the victim of a touchdown vulture. We’ve all been there.
The market comp: Memory stocks — In the stock market, memory makers such as Micron and SanDisk are playing the touchdown-vulture role. Nvidia’s massive AI buildout is driving demand for their products, while rising memory prices also squeeze Nvidia’s margins. The supporting cast gets to swoop in, claim some of the upside, and ride off with the points after Nvidia did much of the work.
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The handcuff
The archetype — Winning fantasy football players aren’t just familiar with the starters — they also know who’s waiting in the wings to step in if there’s an injury. If the running back on a top offense misses time, their backup can plug in and soak up those touches. Many fantasy managers will roster the second-stringer behind their top player.
The market comp: AMD — The chipmaker is the market’s handcuff for Nvidia. If demand for AI chips remains strong but Nvidia runs into a supply or execution issue, AMD is positioned to be one of the clearest beneficiaries.
The target hog
The archetype: This is one of the most enjoyable types of players to have on your fantasy team — the wide receivers who get thrown the ball 10-plus times a game. That volume naturally leads to higher yardage and more touchdowns, making them a strong bedrock for any team.
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The market comp: Hyperscalers — Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet, and Meta have become the AI trade’s target hogs. Between their cloud platforms and their own enormous capex budgets, they sit at the center of the spending boom.
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The preseason darling
The archetype — A common dilemma for a fantasy manager is figuring out whether preseason outperformance is sustainable, or simply fool’s gold that came against weaker competition.
The market comp: Newly IPOed companies — As SpaceX and Cerebras have shown, a blockbuster stock-market debut can look more like a promising preseason than proof of a breakout. Once the IPO honeymoon fades and investors get a closer look at the fundamentals, early gains can evaporate quickly.
The streamer
The archetype — Even the most well-prepared fantasy players will inevitably find themselves scouring the waiver wire for pickups. Nothing long-term … just a one- or two-week rental that can get you past a patch of injuries or bye weeks.
The market comp: Oil stocks — Oil stocks are the market’s streamer. They’re a tactical way to play a particular matchup, rather than being a long-term holding. When the Iran war or other Middle East tensions flare, they can offer a quick hedge against a jump in crude prices.