5 Retirement Conversations All Married Couples Should Have Before They Turn 65

Planning for retirement is easier in some ways for married couples than it is for single adults. They have a partner who can help them save for the future and share the burden of household tasks. But retiring with another person can go very wrong if you’re not on the same page about what that retirement will look like.

Ideally, you’d begin sketching out your shared plans long before you get there. If you and your partner haven’t done this yet, you may want to think about it. Start with the following five questions.

1. How do you envision your retirement?

This is the fun part of retirement planning: First you talk about when and where you want to retire, how you want to spend your time in retirement, and what kinds of big-ticket purchases you each want to make. It’s a chance to identify your main retirement goals and ensure you’re both working toward the same vision of your future.

You might need to make some compromises. If one of you wants to retire in another state and the other wants to remain in your hometown, you’ll have to work that out in a way that feels satisfying to both of you. Try to iron out those details before retirement so you can budget accordingly.

2. When will you claim Social Security?

You can claim Social Security at any point after you turn 62, but there’s some strategy involved in maximizing your lifetime benefit. Every month you delay Social Security grows your checks; the longer you delay, the larger the gains become, until you qualify for your maximum benefit at 70.

Delaying Social Security often results in the largest lifetime benefits, but this may not be the case for people with shorter life expectancies. And it may not be feasible if you have little to no personal savings.

You must also keep in mind that you could be eligible for a spousal benefit based on your spouse’s work record. This is up to one-half of the benefit your partner qualifies for at their full retirement age (FRA) — 66 to 67 for today’s workers. The Social Security Administration automatically gives you the larger of the two benefits, though you can’t claim a spousal benefit until your partner applies.

It’s worth taking some time to understand how much each benefit could be worth, so you have an idea of how many of your retirement expenses you’ll need to cover on your own. You can do this by creating a “my Social Security” account and using its calculator tool to estimate your benefit at every possible claiming age.

3. How will you tackle retirement healthcare costs?

Healthcare costs can make up a large portion of your retirement expenses, especially if one of you is already in poor health. You’ll likely be eligible for Medicare after you turn 65, but Original Medicare has a lot of gaps. You’ll need supplemental policies to minimize your out-of-pocket costs.

You may also need to budget for long-term care expenses. Long-term care insurance is available, but costly. However, it could be worth it if you feel there’s a good chance that you’ll need skilled nursing care at some point in retirement.

4. How will you save for retirement?

Once you have an approximate idea of how much you need to save for retirement and how much money you can expect from other sources like Social Security, you need a plan to reach that goal. If both of you are working, you both may be able to set aside money. Agree on how much each person will save and which accounts you’ll use.

If only one spouse works, consider a spousal IRA if you can afford to. This is a regular IRA opened in the stay-at-home spouse’s name. The other spouse can contribute money to this account as long as they earn enough from their job during the year to cover all contributions made to both partners’ retirement accounts.

Schedule annual check-ins with each other to go over your savings strategy and make adjustments as needed. You may also need to do this if you experience a job change or a major lifestyle change, like the addition of a new family member.

5. What estate planning do you still need to do?

Estate planning involves preparing wills and/or trusts and designating caregivers for minor children in case you were to pass away unexpectedly. You may want to have powers of attorney drawn up as well, in case one of you becomes incapacitated. For the wealthy, estate planning also involves coming up with cash to pay estate taxes.

If you haven’t thought about what will happen to your money or possessions after you die, take some time to do so. Consult an attorney as needed.

You don’t have to go through all these topics with your spouse at once if it feels too overwhelming; go through them one at a time if you’d like. Try to come away from each conversation with a few actionable goals the two of you can do to prepare yourselves for retirement.