Boomerland: Most boomers chow down on frugal pie

Lately trade and drug wars and tanking 401k retirement accounts have been hogging air time on most TV news channels.

Generation wars have erupted in the headlines, too. Armies of millennials (born 1981-96) and Generation Zers (born 1997-2010) have been lobbing shells at “rich and lucky” baby boomers cowering in the trenches.

The millennials’ and Generation Zers’ envy of a few land yacht-driving, Telluride vacation home-owning, Bermuda cruise-taking boomers might be justified.

Some boomers were luckier than others when it came time, on the day of retirement, to count accumulated toys.

But all boomers were lucky. We went to rock concerts when they cost $10, not $1,000; went to college when it cost $10,000, not $100,000; bought a house when it cost $100,000, not $1 million.

Of course, when I graduated from Elmer Fudd High School (home of the Hunting Wabbits) in 1975, $10 went a long way. Today, adjusted for inflation, it is equivalent to $55.

Not all Boomers are rolling in dough. Some, like me, are rolling in a thin layer, enough to make a pepperoni pizza — with one pepperoni.

Frugal tip: Make pizza at home. Be careful of exploding tomatoes.

The kids who followed us — Generation X, millennials, Generation Z — somehow think baby boomers are filthy rich because many own their own homes and some have even paid off their college debt.

However, many boomers — facing rising rent, car, food and health care prices — are not rich at all. We are the ones who didn’t get a pension. We are the ones who might have a small 401k retirement account.

Many are on fixed incomes from Social Security, which we and our employers paid into with each paycheck for 40-plus years of toil.

Most of us, in retirement, have to relearn the art of frugality.

We have excellent role models: our parents. The Silent Generation — not so silent when we left untended lights on — grew up in the Great Depression, when pizza crust was even thinner.

Many of our parents were masters of frugality. They passed along tips — for example, making a bar of soap last a year while shared by a family of nine. Or eating leftovers in strange and arresting combinations — Spam Jell-O with macaroni and green beans anyone?

As a recently retired Boomer, I have by necessity taken up a new hobby: frugality.

Here are some tips I’ve learned so far.

* Look for free stuff. Gyms — while providing camaraderie with fellow sufferers — cost money. Instead, work out at home. My inspiration is a boomer, 76, who called asking about a trail I had described in my hiking column, “Over the Blues.” She walks 5 miles a day, rain or shine. If she can do it, I can, too.

* Drink water, not soda pop. Drinking water cuts sugar consumption. That’s important, since the average American consumes enough sugar each year to construct a monument the size of a Lincoln Continental.

* Cancel unused subscriptions and memberships. If you don’t use it, lose it.

* Drink coffee at home. Fewer trips to the coffee hut can save loads of money — even if your own brew might float a horseshoe.

* Wash your hands. Avoiding health care emergencies means big savings. You’ll also save haggling with insurance companies, and hours wasted on hold on the phone listening to the elevator music version of “Hotel California.”

* Wash clothes in cold water. Wonder, my wife, would argue that savings are minimal and warm water makes for cleaner clothes. She may be right. OK, she is always right. I still might sneak in a load in cold from time to time to save a dime.

* Turn off lights in unused rooms. My dad, the drill sergeant, hair Brylcreemed, posture impeccable, would march around the house turning off unused lights and lecture the “soldiers” that “money doesn’t grow on trees.”

* Turn down the heat. The official uniform of the cold war is sweaters.

* Use less toothpaste. You can cut back on toothpaste consumption and still have a 100-watt smile.

* Exchange cards at the store. Enjoy a poignant moment with your significant other in aisle nine. Then put the cards back on the rack.

Look for more frugal tips online. Like old age, frugality is not by sissies. Make it an adventure. And if you get really desperate for money, look under the couch cushions.

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Jeff Petersen retired after a 40-plus-year career, mainly in newspapers, and lives in Milton-Freewater. Reach him at jeffp557@gmail.com.