I planned to retire by 55 — but my son has asked me to help pay for college. Should I just push off my plans?

Early retirement is a goal for many people, but is it worth leaving your child to pay their own way through college just to retire early? That’s the situation Derek is facing.

He has been saving with the goal of retiring at 55, but his plans may be shifting now that his son is asking for help with college. Covering the full cost of his son’s medical program — nearly $250,000 — would likely delay retirement by about five years. He currently earns around $150,000, and with his wife, spends about $65,000 annually on their mortgage, health care and everyday expenses. His retirement savings are carefully budgeted to sustain that lifestyle.

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If Derek helps his son with his tuition, it will upset that retirement budget and jeopardize the future he and his wife have worked toward. They want to support their son but are looking for a middle ground.

Here are the factors they can explore before Derek makes a decision.

The cost of student loan debt

Student loan debt comes at a heavy cost — and not just the amount owed. According to the Education Data Initiative, the average federal student loan debt balance is $39,075 per person [2], and that debt can shrink lifetime earnings.

An analysis by the Kresge Foundation found that the average student debt burden results in a lifetime wealth loss of nearly $208,000 for a dual-earner household where each partner has a bachelor’s degree from a four-year university [3]. The biggest hits come from lower retirement savings and less home equity.

For Derek’s son, avoiding six figures of debt could make a huge difference for his finances long-term. But Derek must weigh whether taking on that burden himself would mean jeopardizing his own financial security in his later years.

What to consider when paying for a child’s education

There is no right or wrong answer here — it’s a personal decision that Derek and his wife need to make based on their own situation. Here are a few points they should consider:

• The family’s financial situation: Can they cover tuition without draining retirement accounts? Pulling from savings risks penalties and missed growth [4].

• Health: If Derek or his wife face health challenges, early retirement might shift from a want to a need. This means more missed growth for their retirement portfolio.

• Job security: If Derek loses his job, he may struggle to fund his son’s education and keep up with his own expenses and savings

• The student’s track record: Has their son shown the commitment and academic performance needed to succeed in a demanding medical degree program?

• Earning potential: Medical doctors typically earn higher salaries, which makes repaying student loans more manageable. Derek might consider loaning his son the money instead of giving it to him outright.

Working through these factors can help the family make the right decision in their specific situation. While some might consider retiring early selfish, not every parent is able or willing to cover the entire cost of their child’s education, and that is okay.

Read more: Here are 5 ‘must have’ items that Americans (almost) always overpay for — and very quickly regret. How many are hurting you?

How parents can provide support

One of the missing pieces of this conversation is that helping a child through college isn’t an all-or-nothing proposition. Parents can support their children in other ways, such as:

• Let the student live at home to save on housing: Room and board make up a large share of education costs [5]. Allowing a student to live at home could save tens of thousands of dollars over several years. Parents covering food and basic expenses can keep loan balances low, allowing the student to focus on their studies.

• Look for alternative sources of financing: Scholarships, grants, work-study programs, and funding from professional organizations (especially in healthcare fields) can significantly reduce out-of-pocket costs [6]. Generally, it’s better to steer clear of Parent PLUS loans due to their high interest rates, but they may be a better option than withdrawing from retirement savings [7].

• Cover part of the tuition: Derek could commit to paying a portion of the tuition — say $10,000 a year — while his son finances the rest with scholarships, grants, or loans. That way, his son avoids the full burden of debt, but Derek also stays on track for retirement.

Finding the middle ground

There’s no easy answer, but the middle ground may be the best option: provide partial support, look into scholarships and aid and have open conversations about money. Derek’s son might also explore state schools, international programs or other lower-cost options.

Most of all, Derek needs to sit down with his son, go over the numbers honestly and create a plan that protects both their financial futures.

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Article sources

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[1]. Reddit. “Should I fund my son’s college education and delay retirement by ten years?”

[2]. Education Data Initiative. “Student Loan Debt Statistics”

[3]. The Kresge Foundation. “At What Cost”

[4]. IRS. “Retirement topics – Exceptions to tax on early distributions”

[5]. Education Data Initiative. “Average Cost of Room & Board at College”

[6]. Health Resources & Services Administration. “Apply for a Health Workforce Grant”

[7]. Federal Student Aid. “Direct PLUS Loans for Parents”

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.