I was planning to take Social Security at 67 and retire, but I'm stuck being a caregiver at 63. What should I do?

Becoming somebody’s caregiver can take a huge toll on you mentally and physically. It can also drain your finances and hurt your long-term plans.

In this Reddit post, we have a 63-year-old widow who’s still working and was hoping to continue doing so until age 67. At 67, the plan was to take survivor benefits from Social Security and delay their own claim until 70 for a larger monthly paycheck.

But now, the poster has gotten stuck in a caregiving role. And it’s frustrating, because it’s impacting the poster’s ability to work.

The problem is that the poster doesn’t want to retire early and claim Social Security early. Doing so would mean reducing their monthly paychecks for life. Being forced to retire before age 65 would also mean having to pay for health insurance before becoming eligible for Medicare.

All told, the poster is in a tough spot. But there may be solutions.

Caregiving can impact your finances

AARP says that 53 million people are providing care to a loved one. And the problem is that many caregivers take a financial hit in that role.

For some, it means time off from work and lost wages, or lost opportunities to climb the ladder for career advancement. For others, it means having to spend money to provide care, such as driving back and forth to a loved one’s home or buying them supplies.

Caregivers spend an average of 26% of their personal income on caregiving expenses, says AARP. And 12% take out a loan or borrow from family to cover those costs.

The poster above isn’t necessarily raiding their own savings to provide care. But they’re looking at having to retire early, which could mean losing out on years of wages and potentially getting stuck with smaller monthly Social Security checks as a result.

That’s just not fair. And if there are other family members in the fold, the poster needs to start a conversation.

Talk things through, and try to find a reasonable solution

If the poster is the only family member left aside from the loved one they’re caring for, it’s one thing. But if there are other family members, there needs to be a more equitable division of labor. And if that’s not possible, the poster’s family members should be willing to offer monetary support.

Let’s say the poster is one of four family members who can help out, but the other three live across the country. Forcing them to uproot their lives may not be reasonable.  

But if the poster is forced to retire early, it’s reasonable to ask the other three family members to contribute toward their bills until they turn 67, so they can stick to their plan to claim Social Security then.

There may be other solutions to look at as well. The key is to have an open conversation.

It could also pay to engage a financial advisor in that discussion. An advisor may be able to take a look at the family’s logistical and financial situation as a whole and come up with a plan that enables the poster to keep providing care without putting their retirement security on the line.

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